At the reasons for running away HQ, the resident scanner appears to be terminally ill. We are still waiting on the 2nd opinion of a specialist, but right now things are looking pretty fucked in terms of a positive outcome.

But as eternal optimists we can only hope. Fingers crossed for an update soon and apologies that the illness was kept hidden, like an inconvenient hepatitis test result.

Any messages of support for the scanner can be e-mailed to us and will be printed off, and arranged tastefully around the bedside of the invalid.

A. S. Pokesman